A common mistake many people make when they start something new is thinking now they are doing something special. We start working out, we start meditating, we start eating healthy and think we are doing something special. Millions upon millions of people are doing those exact same things and now they have suddenly become special just because we’ve started doing them.
The problem lies in the fact that we want to appear special in the minds of other people because we don’t feel special. And that is a totally different motive behind the activity we would actually like to admit. We want to convince ourselves that we are doing something solely for the sake of the activity. But if that would be the case then why this strong need to be seen or heard when there really isn’t much to see or hear?
Because such a person wants to look special he or she posts pictures/videos or tells all of his or her friends and acquaintances about it. He or she is deliberately looking for people and circumstances to appear special. If people around us admire us for doing something that is in the bigger picture really ordinary then this tells a lot about the people we choose to hang out with.
If we begin something with intention for recognition or admiration and don’t get that it’s quite natural to get discouraged and quit. Even if we do get recognition and admiration we are still doing it for the wrong reasons because those are really side effects and not the main thing. So if we lose that outer motivation there is a very high probability we will also stop doing everything else connected to that activity somewhere along the way.
If we need so much motivation, encouragement and/or recognition when we’ve just begun something we should question why we’re even doing it in the first place. The need to feel special has a lot to do with a lack of self-love and self-worth. Individuals who love themselves and see their own worth don’t have the slightest need to prove anything to anyone. On the other hand when we can’t seem to find something inside ourselves we turn outside and try to look there.
Ram Dass said: “I was no longer needing to be special because I was no longer so caught in my puny separateness that had to keep proving I was something. I was part of the universe, like a tree is, or like grass is, or like water is.” So the next time when you think about trying to start something new, think about what excites you or brings you joy and happiness. Think about what would you do if no one ever saw you or knew you are doing it and go with that. Being ordinary in a world where everybody is trying to be special is in itself extraordinary.